Somewhat recently… In the summer of 2025, I found myself saying to someone… It’s really important to me that when we see each other and when we depart from one another… That I take a pause with you. That I look into your eyes and acknowledge the moment of greeting or goodbye.
While my request was heard by the other, It was not received or acted upon with consistency.
Many years ago, when my kids were younger, I heard words in something that I took in… Your sphere of influence with your children is fragile and short-lived. One of the most profound things you can do in relationship to them, is greet them well. When you go away and then come back… Look them in the face. Look them in the eyes. Be present with them. Let them know that their very presence is cherished.
The idea behind this was that they will feel that in their bodies and know their importance in your world. Every Day since Receiving these words… I have endeavored to greet everyone i am with, with that same deep presence
I grew up with mortality being top of mind. My younger sister had what was known as a terminal illness. It was known that she would die much earlier than was average. So it was always in my mind, and in my experience that life was fragile. As a grown-up, I’ve had a number of experiences that continued to remind me of the fragility of our lives. No time for anyone is guaranteed or certain.
As a rule, I aim to not take for granted moments that I have with the folks for whom I care about and for.
The Suggestion to greet everyone with a slight pause and recognition… Makes sense to me. I would never want anyone that I come into contact with to not know and feel their importance to me.
It seems to me that perhaps this notion is really just a practical expression in the art of loving. To take time out of the hurried pace of human life… Pause… And bring your attention and awareness to another.
I know how I feel inside when someone else chooses to take the time to pause with me. Look at me. Take me in. And appreciate my presence. It makes me feel important and valued.
I think that this type of practice can feel vulnerable. Uncertain, and maybe even a little uncomfortable, depending on who we are being this present with.
I think with kiddos… That they demand it. A great many of us adults have definitely had the experience of being with kids… Not giving them our complete attention… Only to have them seek it from us. Interrupting us. Asking questions. Or maybe even acting out…
My practice with kiddos now… That I’m a much wiser lady 😌…Is two drop down to their level. Make eye contact. Bring my breath to the present moment.And let them know that I am right here right now…
How wonderful would our intimate relationships be if this was a dedicated practice.
This poem spoke to me this morning because it reminded me of this practice in my life. It reminded me of how I’ve asked for it and had another unable to give it to me. My suspicion is that it required too much feeling. Too much vulnerability. And maybe too much presence.
And… That it is our birthright To be received. It is our birthright to be acknowledged by presence. It is our birthright to be valued and cherished in such a way. Intentional gaze. Intentional moment. Intentional breath.
It feels romantic inside of me when I consider it… And practical. It’s a nuance and not always obvious. But certainly deeply felt.
Soooo, Perhaps as you move through your day and your week… You could consider each time you greet and say goodbye to someone, a pause. A moment of recognition. A moment of deep presence. A moment of gratitude and appreciation for other.
With a pause and moment of gratitude for those who will read this and allow my words to softly infuse your day
Mandy Sandbach
